


One submissive male's experiences with female domination, bdsm, crossdressing, servitude and orgasm denial.



After issuing these directives, I helped Her load the suitcase in the car, kissed Her good bye and She was off. I got back into the house and immediately locked myself into my pink CB2000 to intensify my already intense feelings of submissiveness and servitude. I have been trying lately to wear it for increasingly longer and longer periods of time to get used to it but was only able to do it for 6 hours or so. I quickly gathered all the dirty clothes and took it to the laundry room. Because I have to walk out of the apartment, I have to wear my normal boring male clothes. For maximum efficiency I try to get all my heavy cleaning done while the laundry is on. This way I scrub the kitchen floor, clean the stove, the toilet and the shower without wearing my maid's uniform. Besides using harsh chemicals I also tend to sweat a lot, especially when I am on my knees scrubbing the kitchen floor. Whether Mistress is at home or not, I usually do this naked or wearing either a collar and/or my CB2000. After I got the laundry out of the dryer and finished all the "hard work" I took a shower and changed into the maid uniform, stockings, high heels and a wig and practiced putting on eye make-up. It was a first for me and I think I did look a bit clownish. Hopefully Mistress will go over the make-up techniques with me at some point, step by step so that I can become proficient at putting on my make-up.
Anyway, It was very nice to be dressed like this after a long time and I must say I enjoyed my maid duties a lot. Fortunately, the chastity device prevented me from having frequent and involuntary erections. It took me the rest of the day to clean as I was in no rush, enjoying every single minute of my submissive maidhood. I think changing bedding, vacuuming and dusting were especially enjoyable. At night I changed into the pink nightie, removed my CB2000 that was starting to hurt a lot and masturbated for only a few minutes before I felt a massive orgasm coming. I forced myself to stop imagining the massive beating I would receive for violating Mistress' orders. It's been exactly a week since my last release and I suspect I have another week to go before I am allowed to orgasm. I was pretty tired so I fell asleep quite quickly dreaming (quite vividly) about Mistress spilling the secrets of our relationship to one of Her friends (never seen the friend before). This scared me a bit because as far as I know, no one knows about our particular arrangement.
On the way from work today, Mistresses mentioned that She would "want to play tonight". This probably coincided with the fact that my brand new maid shoes were scheduled to arrive today, after we missed the delivery yesterday. However, when we got home Mistress said She wants to play dress-up. When we play dress-up, Mistress usually puts me in some nice skimpy clothes and heels and let's me go about my business in the apartment while She occasionally observes me and harasses me sexually. This time though, She wanted to put on some makeup as well.
Mistress ordered me to bring Her all Her make-up and spent the next half hour or so applying make-up on my face, while I was sitting in front of Her on the floor. She focused on my eyes - mascara, eyeliner, eye shadow, even curling my eyelashes - in the end creating what I thought was a perfect eye-makeup. To complete the image, Mistress brought both wigs and tried them on, eventually choosing with the light brunette one. Then followed the necklace and clip-on earrings.When I saw myself in the mirror I was quite amazed, I barely recognized my face. Wow ... what a change. Mistress must have liked what She saw as well because out of the blue She suggested that at some point in the future, when I lose bit more weight and acquire a bit more feminine figure, we should go together on a trip to a place where we do not know anyone, She would then dress me up and we would go out together. I must stay this is an exciting prospect but nonetheless a big step for me and my ego . But I would definitely want to try this at some point.
Mistress kindly offered to look for a dress for me, we would then print the picture of it and leave on the fridge door as a constant remainder of what I am struggling to achieve. So far She only found one dress - at Frederick's of Hollywood. It is the one in the picture to the right.
Quite frequently I find myself browsing through online shoe stores ... you know just for fun. I don't think I have ever bought anything, but looking at all those pictures of sexy high heels always make me so hot and horny. I usually do it in bed when I can't sleep and while Mistress is already sound asleep next to me. Of course I am not allowed to touch myself for the purpose of pleasuring and I would never dare to break this rule which results in falling asleep with a massive erection (if my CB2000 isn't on) and pretty sweet dreams.
And my feet would hurt the next day after wearing these heels. So I decided to shop for a new pair.
i am a thirty something submissive male with crossdressing tendencies. i guess that is one way to put it. i am not sure when it began but i do remember when i was a kid and liking playing dress-up. A lot. i guess, much like being gay, this was not a result of nurture, but rather nature. And i certainly do hope my family forgot and does not suspect anything anymore. And i kinda forgot too. Until college, where my first girlfriend was very dominant and knew very well how to use my submissive nature to Her advantage. Those were some wild times, although it all feels like a distant dream now. Perhaps, during one of those slow days when there is not much to report i will try to remember those days.
Anyway, fast forward to when i met Mistress A. Well, She wasn’t a Mistress then … She probably didn’t even suspect She could be one at that point. Anyway, we fell in love almost instantly and we are still very much in love. After a year or so i confessed all of my kinks and fetishes to Her. i was unsure how She would react and was very embarrassed that evening as i was pacing nervously around my apartment, babbling about my submissive nature, submissive desires and crossdressing fantasies. To my surprise, She was not freaked out, in fact seemed to realize the potential of a Dominant/submissive relationship. Or maybe She just really liked the idea of being in charge. We eventually moved in together and started experimenting with D/s lifestyle. Everything was great, we procured quite an assortment of toys – both for pleasure and for punishment. She was my Mistress and i was Her pet, Her servant and Her maid.
Perhaps inevitably, the work, the stress and the mundane life routine got the best of us. Although we got engaged, we abandoned the lifestyle and returned to Vanillaville. Work, work and more work. i eventually started to lose interest in anything sexual or emotional. i am not sure about the underlying cause but i couldn’t even get a erection. And if i got one it was hard to keep it up. i even stopped masturbating for a while. i just wasn’t feeling it. Mistress A. is very sexual, She knows what She want and how She wants it. In the beginning of our relationship, we had sex pretty much every night and She could (and still can) orgasm several times in a row. Just like me, She was very dissatisfied with our current arrangement and bluntly expressed Her opinion to me on more than one occasion. This was a very terrifying period for me as this was very similar to something i experienced with my previous girlfriend – just before meeting Mistress A. We both knew something had to change. In fact we both wanted it to get the back to the old times, Her wielding the crop and me in a french maid uniform and high heels, wielding a vacuum cleaner.
Change arrived in July, just a few weeks ago and we are now easing our way back into D/s lifestyle. This blog, which i am writing in secret is intended to document our way into a near perfect (for us) relationship between a gorgeous dominant Woman and Her submissive and obedient male pet. Although She does not know about this blog, i am writing it for Her as well. i hope that when She eventually finds out it, She will enjoy reading it as the chronicle of our secret lifestyle. i love Her with all my heart and i am very lucky to wear Her collar and be at Her feet.