i am a thirty something submissive male with crossdressing tendencies. i guess that is one way to put it. i am not sure when it began but i do remember when i was a kid and liking playing dress-up. A lot. i guess, much like being gay, this was not a result of nurture, but rather nature. And i certainly do hope my family forgot and does not suspect anything anymore. And i kinda forgot too. Until college, where my first girlfriend was very dominant and knew very well how to use my submissive nature to Her advantage. Those were some wild times, although it all feels like a distant dream now. Perhaps, during one of those slow days when there is not much to report i will try to remember those days.
Anyway, fast forward to when i met Mistress A. Well, She wasn’t a Mistress then … She probably didn’t even suspect She could be one at that point. Anyway, we fell in love almost instantly and we are still very much in love. After a year or so i confessed all of my kinks and fetishes to Her. i was unsure how She would react and was very embarrassed that evening as i was pacing nervously around my apartment, babbling about my submissive nature, submissive desires and crossdressing fantasies. To my surprise, She was not freaked out, in fact seemed to realize the potential of a Dominant/submissive relationship. Or maybe She just really liked the idea of being in charge. We eventually moved in together and started experimenting with D/s lifestyle. Everything was great, we procured quite an assortment of toys – both for pleasure and for punishment. She was my Mistress and i was Her pet, Her servant and Her maid.
Perhaps inevitably, the work, the stress and the mundane life routine got the best of us. Although we got engaged, we abandoned the lifestyle and returned to Vanillaville. Work, work and more work. i eventually started to lose interest in anything sexual or emotional. i am not sure about the underlying cause but i couldn’t even get a erection. And if i got one it was hard to keep it up. i even stopped masturbating for a while. i just wasn’t feeling it. Mistress A. is very sexual, She knows what She want and how She wants it. In the beginning of our relationship, we had sex pretty much every night and She could (and still can) orgasm several times in a row. Just like me, She was very dissatisfied with our current arrangement and bluntly expressed Her opinion to me on more than one occasion. This was a very terrifying period for me as this was very similar to something i experienced with my previous girlfriend – just before meeting Mistress A. We both knew something had to change. In fact we both wanted it to get the back to the old times, Her wielding the crop and me in a french maid uniform and high heels, wielding a vacuum cleaner.
Change arrived in July, just a few weeks ago and we are now easing our way back into D/s lifestyle. This blog, which i am writing in secret is intended to document our way into a near perfect (for us) relationship between a gorgeous dominant Woman and Her submissive and obedient male pet. Although She does not know about this blog, i am writing it for Her as well. i hope that when She eventually finds out it, She will enjoy reading it as the chronicle of our secret lifestyle. i love Her with all my heart and i am very lucky to wear Her collar and be at Her feet.